riseupwithfists: art by rick veitch (jaime harts timmy)
the artist formerly known as oneangrykate ([personal profile] riseupwithfists) wrote2010-02-26 05:23 pm

Dear Geoff Johns (first in a series?)

Since you are now the new creative boss of DC Comics, allow me to give a few suggestions on how to solve a particular thorn in your company's side.


Suggestions are in no particular order and are not always compatible with each other:

-Pronounce an immediate moratorium for at least two years on the following: character death, obvious cannon fodder, major member turnover, pointless crossovers. Raven going evil or unevil or whatever. Evil future teams*, evil rival teams, evil twins, evil pets, Wilsons. Cheesecake panels of underaged girls, the threat of rape, the threat of truckstop gang rape, gratuitous female 'catfights', torture porn. "We're a family" speeches, "We need to be a family" speeches, "We used to be a family what happened" speeches. Character death. Gratuitous heteronormativity (hey, it's worth a shot).

-Pronounce an immediate moratorium for at least two years on any villain, concept or nostalgia trip dating back to the Wolfman/Perez run.

-The violence should be no harsher than what a slightly squeamish fourteen year-old can handle, because there are other ways of writing intense, high-stakes stories. I SWEAR.

-Get a new writer. Who has to stick around for at least twenty-five issues.

-Get a new artist. Who has to stick around for at least twenty-five issues.

-Get a writer with a reputation for writing teenagers who act and sound like actual teenagers. Go downtown and sit and watch some for a while if you have to (try not to be creepy about it, though).

-Relatedly, get a writer who can write teenagers, but don't get a writer who is primarily famous for their successful feel-good teenager mash-note series, because that tactic apparently leads to tears due to whatever you have in the water coolers at headquarters or whatever.

-Also, this is not an excuse to insert gratuitous slang or pop culture references that will be dated as soon as the issue hits the stands.

-Make the characters actually likeable. Hard, I know.

-Make the characters actually like to be around each other. The team should be a (slightly cliquey) crew, not a prison sentence. Hard, I know.

-Have the characters actually go out into the world and make something better. Not because they broke it in the first place, not as a defensive move against getting punked yet again, but because teenagers are slightly self-righteous and think they can do anything and sometimes they succeed.

-Bring Mia back.

-Bring Bart back.

-I'm not a Steph fan, but the fun level of the Stephanie Batgirl series is what I'd be going for, so let her join.

-Remember what I said about no Wilsons.

-To reiterate: cheesecake shots of underaged girls is disgusting. Cut that shit out.

-Alternately, give us a two page spread of shirtless Superboy every other issue, cut out the panty shots and we'll call it even.

-Get Bryan Lee O'Malley to write a storyarc.

-Get Cliff Chiang to draw a storyarc.

-Get Greg Rucka to write a Cassie-centric storyarc, accompanied by JH Williams III on art. Siiiiigh.

-Get Heinberg to brainstorm a year's worth of stories and get someone else to actually write them so that the series comes out in a timely manner.

-The backup story is now "Kon and Paco's Excellent Adventures", written by John Rogers and drawn by Cully Hamner.

-When you're in a rut, do not meta for ten issues about how you're in a rut and how haaaaard it is, get out of the fucking rut.

-Required: a scene where UC Berkeley students call out the presence of the Tower as the Panopticon of the supermilitarial-industrial complex**.

-Surely it cannot be that hard to think up worthwhile stories about superpowered teenagers jesus fucking christ

Marvel manages to pull it off some of the time, so I know it can be done. Yeah, I went there.

I'm aware that I'm showing my likes and preferences all over this list***, but I did that thing again where I had a canon question for my story and the subsequent research made me facepalm over how stupid DC is because they could have a Young Avengers and instead they have a Dark Avengers when every damn series they're putting out right now is a Dark Avengers.


*That said, a story where they travel to the future and everyone's ridiculously goody-goody, happy and GASP well-adjusted would be a treat, though probably not exciting enough for most readers.

**I want San Francisco to be a major character, dammit. They throw in a scene at Alcatraz every once in a while to remind us when they should be daytripping all over. Make San Francisco look like San Francisco. It isn't that hard, there are pictures of it on the internet.

***Well, sort of; notice no Tim and no Jason.



Alright, back to Tennyson.
mona: scandal and knockout dance and make fun of catman for his bad taste. they should really be making fun of helena's, yeesh (scandal/knockout)

[personal profile] mona 2010-02-27 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
-Get Greg Rucka to write a Cassie-centric storyarc, accompanied by JH Williams III on art. Siiiiigh.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

YES

I am literally starting issue one of TTV3 today so I am along way away from having to deal with this shit, but reading this still made me nod along and do a lot of mentally yelling "fuck yeah!"

I mean -


-Make the characters actually likeable. Hard, I know.

-Make the characters actually like to be around each other. The team should be a (slightly cliquey) crew, not a prison sentence. Hard, I know.

-Have the characters actually go out into the world and make something better. Not because they broke it in the first place, not as a defensive move against getting punked yet again, but because teenagers are slightly self-righteous and think they can do anything and sometimes they succeed.


fuck yeah!

I also love the idea of a happy AU - sorta like the SURPRISE TWIST of Jaime just wanting to be...a dentist, it would be cool if a Teen Titans with him on it got to see themselves in the future being happy...dentists. And well-adjusted fulfilled superheroes living in a slightly better world. And things.
mona: koriand'r and donna troy hug. koriander's perm is as huge as the number of times this used to happen. huge and GLORIOUS. (kory/donna)

[personal profile] mona 2010-02-27 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
Being a tiny grouchy professor or something somewhere

omg yessss, that is perfect.

Can you think of a more useless series than Titans right now? You can't simply recapture the magic by putting the same characters in a book and have them endlessly tell each other how important they are to each other. Show, not tell is a rule for comics, too, I swear!

My friend who seduced me away from my Wonder Woman and Batfamily reading to get me into team books in the first place had me start with Titans because she was smitten with the pretty Donna/Kory right at the beginning (and she hadn't read all the older stuff yet either, AHAHA we both regretted this decision later on), so this is the only current TT-related title I've read much of, and OH GOD WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT. Like, honestly, I would be happy to read about the NTT characters from now until my dying day, but if you're going to completely eschew all attempts at any emotional center and just fucking shove a bunch of people together in such OOC, empty ways that it's hard to believe they care about each other even after these decades and decades of history...JFC. Within 2 issues of NTT I believed more in the depth of affection between the characters than after all 15 or so I read of Titans. IT REALLY IS SUCH A WASTE OF A TITLE and I am so with you on your earlier suggestion to pull Winick off every other title and just make him write Jason forever, ahaha, because I adore these characters but they no longer seem like a team, at all. Or...interesting or worthwhile as individuals, either. :/ (I guess a new creative team is writing the upcoming Slade-led Titans? Haven't been following really...but yeah um I can't say my hopes are very high for that, despite my deep and abiding love of Cheshire.)

Thanks for the TT warnings overall - the more emotionally prepped I am to deal with sudden suckage, the better, I'd say, since my hopes ARE very high for this after Young Justice. Like,

I guess it was more that the series was always a promise of something really fresh and captivating, and that never really came to fruition.

Definitely feeling this with the series, and with Outsiders, which omg it's making me so happy already. *___* The characters and how they already interact are just SO primed for greatness, it's really a shame that the writing apparently didn't manage to live up to that.

In terms of the most recent stuff, it's really a shame that DC seems to have lost the ability to write team comics over the years because based just on her appearance in Nightwing I DID like Rose, and oldschool Slade was adorable (PROMPTED BY THE LOSS OF MY SON, I SHALL BECOME THE ARCH-NEMESIS OF THIS GROUP OF...CHILDREN!! I'LL CALL THEM PAL AND BUDDY AND NOT TRY VERY HARD TO KILL THEM AT ALL, BE SORT OF GLAD WHEN I DON'T, AND BOND WITH THEM IN A FATHERLY WAY WHEN THEIR GIRLFRIENDS DIE!!! AND THEN ALLY WITH THEM FROM TIME TO TIME!! I AM TOTALLY NOT TRYING TO BE THEIR DAD OR ANYTHING HERE I SWEAR I REALLY AM THEIR ENEMY YEP YEP TOTALLY), and I hear WONDERFUL things about Static and IDK BASICALLY, IF I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THEIR CURRENT WRITING, I WOULD THINK A TEAM OF JAIME-STATIC-ROSE-CASSIE-TIM-BART-KON-SOME OTHER PEOPLE WOULD BE SOMETHING REALLY AND TRULY WORTH LOOKING FORWARD TO.

IDK. I have literally read about 20 issues of any Marvel total, total, but this -

This is nigh blasphemous of me, but I guess I like the DC characters better but the Marvel *style*, as it were, better?

totally makes sense to me? Just in terms of DC having great characters I love so very much, but absolutely needing a different tack wrt what they DO with those characters, to the dynamics they set up and just to how they develop them. idk. I am gonna be so glad when the crossover events and constant deaths and resurrections finally, finally, FINALLY stop.

OK AND NOW I WANT TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON WHERE THE REST OF THE TEEN TITANS (THE ONES ON YOUR DREAM TEAM, AND MAYBE THE OLDER GENERATION TOO :D? Lol I want happy endings for my NTT babies and I don't even know where to begin with like, Dick or Roy :'() WOULD BE IN THE WORLD WITHOUT TORTURE PORN/UNDERAGE TRUCK STOP ATTEMPTED GANGRAPE FUTURE. Would everyone be normal (i.e., retired from superheroing) and well-adjusted? This is such an exciting thought!
Edited 2010-02-27 05:45 (UTC)
mona: anite fite is kind of upset her dad's dead. he'll come back as a clone baby though so it's all good. (anita ragey >:()

[personal profile] mona 2010-03-01 05:24 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHA, I completely embrace your Wilson-allergy: I genuinely think 80s Slade was a-fucking-dorable, but he's been in retcon hell since then and every new ~twist~ with his characterization is worse than the one before. And as an uber-villain, he's boring as SHIT and all charm is lost so, ehhh. I was introduced to Slade via the TT cartoon; going from that to Nightwing made him seem perfectly reasonable as a villain, and I loved Rose when I read her in NW with no other context (I am inclined to love all villain ladies without really requiring much of them, I'm one of those), but I'm surprised by how much I'm already rolling my eyes at her writing as I make my way through Teen Titans, just because of the Wilson continuity fail.

lol just. THE SLADE-LED TITANS ARE GOING TO BE SO TRASHY, I CAN'T EVEN. Slade's latest retcon is possibly the most embarrassingly ridiculous one yet (they're trying to stick to the HE PURPOSELY ACTED EVIL EVER SINCE GRANT DIED TO DRIVE HIS KIDS AWAY AND PROTECT THEM...FROM HIM! route which makes no sense on so many different levels) and it kills me what they've done to poor Joseph Wilson, kills me. SO YES I fully support your Wilson hatred, especially since I'm not even sure I can keep up my fondness for Rose when she's implicated in all the terribleness (not to mention pretty much her entire character concept is dependent on it).

I feel like the last person on Earth to have gotten on the "WILSONS SO BADLY WRITTEN" train, ahaha, but that's what reading canon out of order will get ya, I guess.

I know for sure that Bart is a preschool teacher because who else could keep up with the little bruisers?

THIS IMAGE. OMG. :DDDD Cassie could be...a theater actress/director who adapts Greek tragedies for a more modern audience? LOL IDK just thinking about her bit in YJ where she was considering how the team measured up against her chance to be in the school play; her mom would be so proud!
omens: (misc - lissa's books)

[personal profile] omens 2010-02-27 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
Get Bryan Lee O'Malley to write a storyarc.

YESSSSSSSSSS.

"Kon and Paco's Excellent Adventures"

ALSO YES!
omens: sun shining through leaves (Default)

[personal profile] omens 2010-02-28 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe that hadn't even occured to me.
msilverstar: (viggo flaming menorah)

[personal profile] msilverstar 2010-02-27 08:04 am (UTC)(link)
Get you to write the story! But no, they are guys.